An Interesting Afternoon
by Angel-of-vampires
Summary: All Tonks wanted was some good company at Grimuald place one afternoon, but she's in for more than she expected. TonksSirius. This is my first Harry Potter fic, so please be nice! Rated just in case.


**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for looking at my story!**

**I did this as part of a challenge. The link to that challenge is on my profile page. For some reason it won't let me put the website on here! No idea why! **

**Everything that is underlined was a quote that I had to include in the challenge.**

**Enjoy!**

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**An Interesting Afternoon**

Tonks walked into number 12 Grimuald Place one afternoon, deciding that Sirius's company wouldn't be too bad that afternoon, as long as they didn't get too drunk. _But then again, Remus has that really good hangover potion_. Tonks thought as she walked into the hall, tripping over that blasted troll leg umbrella stand for what felt like the millionth time!

"You seem to make it a habit to announce your presence every time you come here." Sirius laughed at her as they walked into the lounge after him helping her up and them both closing the curtain on his mother.

"Ha, ha." Tonks laughed sarcastically, taking of her jacket to reveal black pants, with a little black dress over the top of them. She had also done her hair midnight black and waist length today. It was a new look for her, but it worked.

"Well, all black is fine, but what I find really sexy, are white leggings..." Sirius drooled at the thought.

"That's kinda wrong. And I'm not trying to impress anyone, especially you!" Tonks told him.

"What's wrong with me?" Sirius moaned.

"Umm… you're my mother's cousin." Tonks replied "Which makes you my cousin once removed."

"And…?" Sirius asked.

"And… it's just too wrong!"

"A lot of the Black family married their cousins. And it's not like I'm asking you to marry me, I'm just asking for a quickie. Or however long we both last." Sirius winked at her.

"What?!" Tonks exclaimed.

"I'm game if you are."

"No!"

"Please?"

"No."

"Come on!"

"NO!"

"Aww. Spoil sport!"

"No."

"Did you know that my grandfather's clock stopped ticking the exact moment he died? It started again while I was having sex for the first time, going an hour a minute!" Sirius said.

"Good for you." Tonks replied, only half listening.

"What is going on in here?" Asked Remus as he entered the room.

"Sirius wants me to do him." Tonks said blankly. Remus just looked at him weirdly.

"What? I was locked up in Azkaban for 12 years, then on the run for another, and now I'm locked up here!" Sirius complained "I haven't had a good lay for 14 years!"

"Umm… anyway. Tonks, do you know how to make your patronus speak?" Remus asked her, trying to change the conversation quickly away from that, err, topic before Sirius mentioned Remus's lack of 'lays'.

"No, why?" Tonks asked.

"Because every Order member needs to know how to do it." Remus replied "Ok, cast your patronus, please."

Tonks obliged, summoning her dragonfly patronus. She loved the look of the beautiful creature, but also knew its importance.

"Wait,your patronus is a dragonfly?!" Sirius laughed.

"Don't let the crystalline wings, slim body and jem-like eyes fool you. Dragonflies are deadly killers!" Tonks told her cousin.

After an hour of Remus explaining to Tonks how to get her patronus to speak, she got it to tell Sirius to "piss off." She was very proud of herself, Remus was shaking his head exasperated, and Sirius was pretending to be heart-broken.

"You scalped it!" He cried, while the other two laughed at him.

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"Everywhere I go, I feel his eyes on my buttocks." Tonks complained later to Remus.

"Who's staring at your butt, Tonks?" Sirius asked as he entered the room, interrupting their conversation.

"Bloody Mad-eye! You wouldn't expect it from someone like him, but no!" She whined "I can't tell if he's doing it because he likes what he sees or if he's making sure that I don't end up like that person who lost a buttock from their wand being in their back pocket! It's so annoying!"

"Well, you do have a nice arse." Sirius commented "Maybe he just likes to stare at it like I do."

"Sirius!" Tonks complained, rolling her eyes.

"What? I was telling the truth!" Sirius replied.

"Will you ever give up, Sirius?" Tonks asked.

"If at first you don't succeed, try harder. Never give up. Their sanity will cave in eventually." Sirius replied, quoting some unknown source that Tonks was sure that she didn't want to find out more about.

"Oh, ha ha!" Tonks laughed sarcastically. She felt like she had been doing that quite a lot recently "I think I'm gonna go have a shower. Sometimes, I really hate work!"

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"SIRIUS!" Tonks screamed "Get out of here! I'm trying to get dressed!"

Sirius had snuck into the bathroom while Tonks had been having her shower, purely for the purpose of seeing her really nice behind. He didn't expect to be greeted by a completely naked Tonks!

"_I hate the fact that she's naked and I can't take advantage of it! Such a waste of my libido..."_ Sirius thought.

"Get out now!" Tonks screamed, reaching for her wand at the same time. Deciding that he didn't want to be around when Tonks unleashed her anger, Sirius scurried from the bathroom as quickly as he could.

Tonks quickly dressed then followed him, deciding to teach him a lesson.

By the time she caught up with him, he had run into his bedroom and tried to shut the door, but magic always overpowered strength, so Tonks easily gained access.

"Help!" Sirius cried, and transforming into Snuffles, dashed from the room.

"Oh no you don't!" Tonks yelled, and ran after him as quickly as she could.

But both Tonks and Sirius had forgotten that Mrs Weasley was also in the house today.

"No! No fighting in that room!" Molly yelled at Sirius the black dog and Tonks, who were wrestling, Tonks' wand lying on the floor forgotten.

"No, not in that one either." She cried again, as they entered another room.

"But... it was so sunny just a moment ago." Tonks said. She and Sirius had somehow managed to get themselves tangled up in the rug on the floor.

"Where'd the clouds go?" Sirius asked, and then quickly changed back into Snuffles. He knew he would be almost safe while he was Snuffles. Tonks wouldn't hurt a dog, but she would gladly hurt Sirius as a man!

After Molly helped to untangle the pair, Sirius shot out of the room being closely followed by the Metamorphmagus.

"Or that one!"

"Not there!" Molly wailed as the newly cleaned room was slowly becoming a mess again. In this room, the pair had already managed to pull the curtains from their hooks over the windows, upturned a sofa, knocked books off the shelves, and broken a lamp.

"What are those fir-cones doing here?" Wondered Molly, as she came across a pile of half eaten fir-cones that had been hidden under a sofa that the wrestling Tonks and Sirius had upturned.

"Leave my fir-cones alone!" Sirius yelled at Molly, who was reaching for them to throw them out. Then realising his two mistakes, tried to transform back into Snuffles, but it was too late.

"You should know better than to change back into your normal self while wrestling with me Sirius." Tonks said, while pinning him down.

"And leaving things like this lying around the house!" Molly added "How did you get them anyway?"

"Umm…" Sirius began, but decided that he shouldn't finish the sentence. But he knew that wether he finished it or not, Molly would know how he had gotten them.

"You left this house, didn't you?" She yelled "Sirius! You know how dangerous that is!"

"It was dark!" He argued back.

By this point, Tonks had managed to retrieve her wand and point it at him.

"Oh, no!" Sirius begged, seeing the look in her eyes. "Death before discolouration! Death before discolouration!" Sirius pleaded with Tonks. He knew she was trying to decide which colour would look the worst on him.

"Hmm… Molly, what would you say to a bright pink Sirius? Or violet?" Tonks asked mischievously.

"I'd say green is more his colour." Molly replied.

"What about a mixture?" Tonks asked. Sirius shook his head vigorously, and Molly nodded. It looked like Sirius' fate had been decided.

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"I fell into something... and I don't like the colour of it." Sirius later told the members of the Weasley family and Harry. He had decided not to tell anyone what had really happened, and was instead pretending that it was some horrible potion that his mother had created before she died, or perhaps something that Kreacher had been meddling with. This, of course, had made Tonks and Molly laugh hysterically, because only they knew the truth!

"Do you think that if you transformed into Snuffles you would still be half purple, half green?" Asked Hermione, who was unnaturally curious.

_Maybe she suspects the truth._ Thought Sirius, but transformed into Snuffles anyway.

This caused Tonks to laugh even harder! Now his fur was not only black, but it was also purple and green in places! It looked ridiculous, but so, so funny!

Tonks's laughter caused her to knock over a large jug of water, which just happened to land on top of the multicoloured Sirius!

"Put it in the sink and be done with it." Molly laughed, referring to Sirius who was now giving off that really bad wet-dog smell.

Tonks obliged by levitating him into the sink and turning on the water.

Sirius knew that it would be pointless trying to transform back into his normal self; the sink was too small.

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Later, Tonks decided that she should be merciful. He had behaved for the rest of the afternoon.

"The colour will only come out when the spell caster gives you a bath, but you are staying as Snuffles! I really don't want to have to be doing that with you." Tonks told him sternly. Sirius knew that there was no point in arguing, so he transformed into Snuffles.

Sirius really hated having baths as Snuffles! For some reason, he found that Snuffles really hated water!

"Heed the inanimate aquatic birds." Tonks told him. "Those rubber ducks are behaving. You should too."

Sirius just growled at her, which made her laugh even harder.

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As Remus got to the upstairs landing with Sirius's room on it, he head a familiar feminie voice say: "So this has to go in that slot, and these need to be fastened with those thing-a-ma-gigs... yeah, and you need to get something out from up your - Ack!"

"What is going on here?!" Remus exclaimed as he pushed open the door to Sirius's bedroom. The sight that greeted him was Tonks lying on the floor (a position he had seen her in many times!) and Sirius standing in front of a strange device.

"We're setting up a, umm… Television thingy." Sirius explained, helping Tonks up off the floor.

"Do I want to know why?" Remus asked.

"It's kind of like a boredom buster." Tonks replied "Plus, I think you can get porn on it. That will help him get over wanting to screw me."

"Not likely, but I'm willing to give this television thing a go." Sirius said.

Tonks just sighed as a response.

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**A/N: So, did you like my story? If you did, please review it!**

**This story wasn't originally going to be a Tonks/Sirius story, but after I included some of those quotes, I just turned out to be that way!**

**Anyways, please please please review! **


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